2019 has begun and January is Sanctity of Human Life Month. This particular month is one of the main reasons I started this blog. This January would be the one! The one where I share my story, my life, as it relates to Sanctity of Human Life Month…on the internet! Sharing what this month means to me always makes me reflect on how good God is. I have been anticipating this day for a long time. Being able to participate with joy in my heart for the past several years is a huge victory in my life, and God gets the glory! The struggle with guilt, shame, and self loathing no longer hold me in darkness. They have been replaced with peace, joy, and life the way our God intended: abundant and found only in Him.
Throughout the bible, we can find scripture that makes a very evident point, God places a high value on life. In Psalm 139: 13-16, King David tells us that God “wove me in my mothers womb” and ” And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me. When as yet there was not one of them.”
About 7 years ago, I found myself searching for a ministry to be involved in and prayed that God would use me to reach others. I asked fellow church members what they were involved in and if they knew of organizations that needed volunteers. It seemed every conversation led me back to one place, Life Choices. The years I have spent in this ministry are a blessing beyond belief! Life Choices is a multi faceted establishment, committed to provide a non-judgmental and Christ-like environment designed to educate and empower women to make life-affirming decisions.
Before I tell you more about what we do, I’m gonna go backwards just a bit in my story, where I was literally Israel in the time of the Judges because like scripture said “there was no king and everyone did what was right in their own eyes”.
After having a son at 20 and starting a losing battle with postpartum
depression, about 4 months later, I was pregnant again. I, regrettably,
chose abortion and over the course of the next 2 years my selfish actions and fear of losing control of my life would drive me to making that same choice 2 more times. I had 3 abortions in less than 3 years. At this point in
my life every relationship was affected by abortion. The ability to love and connect with my infant son was shattered. My relationship with Ryan was
shaky, at best, and eventually we would separate for a time. I couldn’t focus at work, I lashed out at my coworkers. I had nothing to stand on and I was
They say “its no big deal”. They say “its your right”. They say “lots of women do it”; but they are the world: the lost, the dying, and the broken, and I bought the lies. If what I had done was the right choice for this situation, these unplanned pregnancies, why did it make me feel so wrong? The answer to that question, I believe, is because I was rebelling against my Creator, the author of life. His plan for me included those babies. When God made me a mother, he gave me a heart for my children, to love them and protect them. I set myself in opposition to that, and I was suffering the consequences. By 2006, I was just a shell of a person; going thru the motions, to smile when your suppose to and then cry and rage when no one is around. I told myself that these were my choices and I have to live with feelings. So I carried the guilt and I carried the shame; and after years of searching for peace and worth in all the wrong places I was just leveled.
That’s when I gave it all to Christ.
The sinless life I couldn’t lead, He did perfectly from birth. The brutal death on the cross that should have been mine, He willingly took my place; and when all I could muster was empty promises to live better, He fulfilled the ultimate promise and rose again on the 3rd day, defeating death and making a way for me to be reconciled to my heavenly Father.
From there I began a personal relationship with Christ, being discipled by other believers, and living daily for Him. In 2012, I had reached a point where I wanted to help others. Well, I guess the better statement would be, I thought I was ready to help others..but not quite yet!
That’s when I found Life Choices.
After counseling, I was told about the bible study that LC has for post abortive women. The next few weeks changed my life! I experienced more grace and healing than I ever thought possible. I left that time with some very important wisdom and knowledge, imparted on me, by the Holy Spirit, thru women who are so precious and priceless to me. The things that continue to help me are: First, some words from 1 John 4:8 “anyone who does not love, does not know God, because God is love”.
Friends, God is love and love covers a multitude of sins, EVEN the sin of abortion!
Second, John 8:36 says “whom the Son sets free, is free indeed”
I cannot pick this back up. I was never meant to carry the weight of guilt and shame. I use to say a lot ” I know God forgives me but I just cant forgive myself”
And that is absolutely true! I cant, but that is exactly why I have a Savior. Now, what I say a lot is: abortion was what I did, its not who I am. Who I am is…a forgiven, redeemed, much loved daughter of the One True God, co heirs with Christ.
To date, over 59 million lives have been lost to abortion since the 1973 Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision. In Tennessee, in 2017, 11,411 abortions were preformed. 20% of those were women who live in other states and Shelby County has one of the highest abortion rates in our entire state!
So..what can you do? What does this mean for you?
The March for Life national organization will have events planned and information readily available. The theme for 2019 is Unique from Day One: Pro-Life is Pro Science.
The TN chapter of Right to Life will sponsor events state wide; here in our city, Life Choices has many ways to get involved. I’m including several links at the end of the blog to additional info and volunteer opportunities
My specific volunteer area is the HOPE ministry:
Helping Others with Post abortive Experiences.
Along with being a presence at many of Life Choices’ events, the HOPE ministry also facilitates a bible study twice a year, specifically designed to speak to the needs of these women. We learn the biblical attributes of our God, who loves us so much that He gave us Christ and we look at what Christ did with guilt and shame when He went to the cross. So, if you are hurting from a past abortion, please contact us at Life Choices. The services are free. We have 2 locations that serve the Memphis area.
There is help, you are worthy and most of all..you are loved.
So on January 20th, I encourage you, your family, or small group to get involved. The most important need is prayer for our nation and its leaders. Sanctity of Human Life Day will be recognized across our country; this will be a day when the collective Church can rejoice together knowing that God makes no mistakes when He creates a life.
Links for additional info:
The Roe Vs Wade Memorial on Jan 22, here in town
Volunteer Opportunities at Life Choices:
43rd Annual Right to Life Rally, here in town